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speakred
26 March 2012 @ 03:01 am
This is certainly more fitted for tumblr, BUT THEN I REMEMBERED THAT I DON'T DO PRETTY GRAPHICS OR THINGS... so whatever.

So I saw The Hunger Games and it lived up to my expectations- though I'm not sure what those expectations were, they just were there and they were fulfilled. I still have my own personal reservations about certain things, but I still liked it! I did! I enjoyed it a lot more the second time around. Anyways, I'm psyched about it's obvious inevitable sequels Catching Fire and Mockingjay. And once my brother returns Catching Fire to me I can reread it and smear my mascara allover my face, as I will be crying over the jealousy I feel about stupid Katniss and stupid Peeta's stupid devotion to each other.

UGH. SO STUPID. Oh, speaking of stupid, indulge me, will ya.

mehhhh!Collapse )

I'll go to bed now... shut up!
 
 
Mood: sillysilly
 
 
speakred
02 March 2012 @ 02:05 am
It's been quite some time since nothing happened. But just for the sake of pretenses, I'll life update you space journal.

blurgCollapse )
 
 
♫: Phantogram
 
 
speakred
02 January 2012 @ 11:33 pm
 
 
Mood: hopefulhopeful
 
 
speakred
31 December 2011 @ 10:43 pm
FINEST HOURS
  • NONE.
  • NOTHING...
  • I QUIT MY JOB.
NOTSO FINE HOURS
  • I dropped out of school.
  • My laptop committed suicide.
  • Something else dumb.
  • Everything, etc.

OBSESSIONS



Mainly for Michael Fassbender... Because I've got a thing for male leads who have ambiguous European accents. Also, this soundtrack makes my heart feel like a heart shape.
  • Happy Endings
It's like Friends but without the laugh track.
It's like Friends, but with a black guy and a gay guy.
It's like Friends, but without the 90's hair
It's like Friends, but on ABC
It's like Friends, but way more funny... THERE I SAID IT.
  • Shake it out by Florence + the Machine
Oh, Top 40 heavy rotation, thank you for not totally ruining this for me. Florence Welch needs to save me from those nights where I'll be folding socks and the anxiety of serial killers sets in and I need a song to save me. Whether or not there really is a serial killer in my apartment is not up for debate, BUT what if he heard this song outside the wall of my bedroom and thought it was a powerfully beautiful and moving ballad that he decided not to kill me and go back to his day job of selling paper?

NEW ASPIRATIONS:  THE END OF THE WORLD EDITION
  • Read books..?
  • Put more make up?
  • Learn German!
  • Ride my bike more.
  • WRITE SOMETHING NEW.
  • Get a job..? Maybe.
 
 
Mood: apatheticapathetic
 
 
speakred
14 December 2011 @ 12:54 am
I'm not recommending serious dental procedures of any kind that often result in the extraction of a most *beloved tooth, but if your sister is still on the fence about taking you to see Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, it doesn't hurt to be in a lot of pain when you ask her again because there is more of a likelihood of her buying you a ticket because you look like a sad puppy. I mean I'm just saying.

...Collapse )
 
 
Mood: gratefulgrateful
♫: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
 
 
 
speakred
12 December 2011 @ 11:22 pm
Howdy ho, internet space journal! I still remember you. It's just that I've been on a hiatus of sorts (my computer died)... Anyways many stupid things have happened, but not in the way that where I want to talk about it (surprise surprise)... So let's just skip ahead to now until I vaguely allude to my problems another time. Okay? Okay! 

My sister and her husband are trying really hard to set me up with a friend of theirs. And I would be totally ok with it, if they wouldn't keep telling me this guy is 'perfect' for me. They say it half sincerely and jokingly but I'm honestly not that interested. I guess the thing that makes him perfect for me is, he watches a lot of tv. SO of course that solidifies him as soul mate level material to every one else that isn't me. I guess I know how people see me, at least the way my family sees me... I should probably go on this date and get it over with so I can have some new friends to talk to because of the whole all my friends are married and have babies and I'm technically a third wheel all the time, every day of my life when I'm with them.

The last date I went on, the guy didn't have the stones to tell me it was a date until I got in the car. We were three blocks from my house and he was like, "OH! By the way this is a date!" And I was like, "Why didn't you tell me this (BEFORE YOU JAG! I WOULD HAVE WORN CLEAN CLOTHES AND BRUSHED MY HAIR)?"

Sometimes I feel like people are unintentionally telling me I'm not interesting enough. Yeah, I probably am, but I mean if I had a boyfriend would he let me have Ugly Betty marathons all day on Saturday while still in my pajamas? Probably not, he would he be like, 'Oh hey let's go outside and fall in love or something!' God, what a douche bag.
 
 
speakred
23 August 2011 @ 04:11 pm
Yo.  
So this is the year for getting married and having babies for people who know me.


I witnessed more joy and more love and more adorableness in this week than I was able to handle- I mean I could not deny my senses to being indulged and overtaken so I cried, laughed, and was awestruck by so many things and feelings! SHUTUP OR whatever I'm not robot or at the very least I'm not so out of touch as I once thought. Oh gosh, this is the part in the indie melodrama where the protagonist is learning things and is surprised to find out she's not as jaded as previously stated in some inner clever monologue.


I guess to sum it all up: Another friend was married, another one had a baby, and I held two new born babies with all their adorableness... So  I'm just dealing with these life changing statuses and the smell of newborn baby by trying not to loose my composure and sob uncontroably/embarrassingly. 


You know what this means, journal?This means I have to grow up and get married, and have babies. Or get new friends with much more jaded attitudes and aspirations. But the thing is I don't want to do either. I just want to be ok with things. And sometimes I'm not sure about a lot which makes it harder to understand why I can't be ok with things or why I am. I am ok with everything happening- I love my friends with all my heart- it just sucks that we're growing up and becoming married people with kids and jobs and lives... I'm not use to this. I'm having a quarter life crisis I tell ya.


UGH. And this new Florence song isn't helping me. Did my heart love until now?



I can't handle my feelings about anything. I am overwhelmed easily or completely shut off from them. There obviously exists no middle ground for me to collaspe into.
 
 
♫: Florence + the Machine
 
 
speakred
14 July 2011 @ 11:13 pm
I woke up pretty early today- well early for me (9 in the morning) and got ready for the day and ran some errands about the town, then fell asleep around noon watching some cheesy Netflix movie for children. I woke up just in time to see the main character be reunited with his bear friend. It was spectacularly awkward.

And pretty much the rest of the day was spent watching Arrested Development and sleeping. In my defense, I was in womanly pain and could not carry on with the rest of my normal life routines- like being outside or standing. But tonight's the night for wizard nerds and such so I would have been avoiding the outside world anyways.

This isn't really a life update, it's more of a I'm waiting for my computer to download a movie and remembered that I have a LJ.... Also, nothing has changed since quitting my job. My days range from sleeping in til the mid afternoon to watching netflix to eating unhealthy amounts of food then crying myself to sleep as I remember I still haven't graduated college. Then I wake up and do it all over again. Every once and awhile I mix it up by being unable to remember what day it is to hanging out with my friends.

I've been meaning to get out more since I have more free time and there's been sunshine, but it's so hard to be motivated when you're reminded that your untapped potential is wasting away with each day that you refuse to acknowledge that you have potential.

I have started reading again, but I ended up starting a book I've read already, instead of finishing up one of the ones I said I would finish... I try to think of myself as being pretty open minded but I just don't connect very well with books. Very few books, capture my attention because I'm like... more of a visual person because not liking books is obviously soooooo un cultured and what-not.... Ok. I don't know why I wasn't into reading. I graduated elementary school,so shut up.  But seriously, I was way more interested in the dynamics of movies and the way animals could talk without really talking. When I was a tiny one, my mom would take us to the video store and rent us movies on the weekends. She'd then make us rice krispy square treats because my mom is awesome and what not. Oh, so many lost weekends to Edward Scissorhands and Drop Dead Fred... Milo and Otis

but that's not to say i won't give anything a chance. I've been told to start reading The Hunger Games. So I'll give it try. I WILL. I'm keeping a list of things I want to accomplish before fall sets in! I'll do it.

Fun FACT: To Kill A Mockingbird is brilliant and I'll accept nothing to the contrary. It's my favorite book, ever.

OH, movies done! Later skater.
Tags:
 
 
speakred
20 June 2011 @ 01:31 am
I quit my job. I QUIT MY JOB. I QUIT MY JOB!

I've been unemployed for a few days now. B and I celebrated my unemployment with some midnight shenanigans like the old days when we would do nothing all summer and sleep in til noon. It's really awesome and scary in it's uncertainty. I'm kind of freaking out, but I feel really good about it... then I remember that I'm unemployed and directionless in every aspect of my life. And then I get really anxious and curl up into a ball determined to do nothing about anything.

When it came down to common sense; I just wasn't happy there. I enjoyed immensely working with a small handful of people who were genuine, funny people, but the underlying dysfunction and grossness of other people was just something I couldn't keep up with. Also, I wore a uniform and smelled like popcorn so that had to stop. Oh, did I mention I wasn't happy there? I just wasn't. That last six months of working there were probably the worst/best times of my life (more the former than the latter-89% self loathing). And toward the three month mark, I was going home in fits of anxiety.

So I quit... with no other job prospect to cradle me when I made that metaphoric descent into some other metaphoric reference to something else.

I'm going to try to look around for something else to get me through the next couple of months in the menial job market though. I cracked my tooth and I need some dentistry and I still have some fees leftover from last semester that need to be paid off before becoming too seriously serious. I know quitting was probably a reckless thing to do with all my small debts and needs still lingering about, but in a mental health conscious way of life, it provided me a chance to re evaluate and breath.

Oh, another thing, my friend was married this weekend and it was beautiful. I got some sun! I got to look pretty! I was hanging out with old friends! And I lost another friend to marriage life! So yes to growing up! :-/


PS. It's been five months since turning into a twentysomething/almost college dropout.
 
 
♫: Grizzly Bear- Ready, Able
 
 
speakred
26 April 2011 @ 03:35 pm


I love it.
 
 
♫: hipster bullshit