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23 August 2011 @ 04:11 pm
So this is the year for getting married and having babies for people who know me.

I witnessed more joy and more love and more adorableness in this week than I was able to handle- I mean I could not deny my senses to being indulged and overtaken so I cried, laughed, and was awestruck by so many things and feelings! SHUTUP OR whatever I'm not robot or at the very least I'm not so out of touch as I once thought. Oh gosh, this is the part in the indie melodrama where the protagonist is learning things and is surprised to find out she's not as jaded as previously stated in some inner clever monologue.

I guess to sum it all up: Another friend was married, another one had a baby, and I held two new born babies with all their adorableness... So  I'm just dealing with these life changing statuses and the smell of newborn baby by trying not to loose my composure and sob uncontroably/embarrassingly. 

You know what this means, journal?This means I have to grow up and get married, and have babies. Or get new friends with much more jaded attitudes and aspirations. But the thing is I don't want to do either. I just want to be ok with things. And sometimes I'm not sure about a lot which makes it harder to understand why I can't be ok with things or why I am. I am ok with everything happening- I love my friends with all my heart- it just sucks that we're growing up and becoming married people with kids and jobs and lives... I'm not use to this. I'm having a quarter life crisis I tell ya.

UGH. And this new Florence song isn't helping me. Did my heart love until now?

I can't handle my feelings about anything. I am overwhelmed easily or completely shut off from them. There obviously exists no middle ground for me to collaspe into.
♫: Florence + the Machine